Five things I learned from Bollywood...

1. Indian actors are closeted homosexuals: When most men dream about a woman... they ummm... dream... weird things. When Indian men dream about a woman they dream about dancing around the trees.

2. Men love to dance: In continuation of the first point. Men love to dance. Never mind the fact that a majority of them can't. They do it anyway. They will often be joined by a troupe of professionally trained dancers who will be mirroring each awkward move. One painful pelvic thrust at a time... even if they started dancing in the middle of a deserted field.

3. It is never inappropriate to break into song: No matter where you are, who you are or what you're doing, it's never inappropriate to sing. At your friends wedding? Give us a verse! At your neighbors barbecue? Jerk it out! At your grandfathers funeral? Why aren't you on your chair doing karaoke?! Idiot!

4. Bad Guys are stupid: History lied. Bad guys are idiots. They will often come up with complicated schemes to reach their goals and kill their enemies. The hero will always overcome these plans, before falling at the final hurdle (which incidentally always seems to be 5m from the bad guy). Once our heroic... umm... hero, comes in front of the bad guy he refuses to shoot them in the head. Instead he usually decides to battle the hero honorably i.e. hand to hand combat. This new found sense of honour usually arrives after he has killed the hero's family including his newly born child. The hero will then kill the bad guy. Usually because the bad guy is fat.

5. No matter how ugly you are, beautiful woman want you: Even if you look like the missing link between man and monkey, you will always get a beautiful and wealthy girl. Regardless of your own financial situation.  Case in point: Any Shahid Kapoor movie. Or any Sikander Kher movie. Or any Ranbir Kapoor movie. Or any Sunny Deol movie. Or any Bobby Deol movie.

Note: This is meant to be a light-hearted look at Bollywood. Don't get insulted. Unless you're name is Sunny Deol... I mean... man... your face. It's hideous.

Samurai_Sellout
SoggyCornflakes.com - Celebrities

Comments

[Tigger]

Lol, good post Samurai but I don't like your dig at Shahid Kapoor. The guy is hot, no need to get jealous ;-)

[sarah]

that's a good one, enjoyed reading it...and incidentally what I was going to write I see Tigger has written already ;)
Tigger, amen to that!! You can't get them any hotter than Shahid ;);)