MovieZen Bollywood Blog

Deepika and Ranbir... on the steep slope to splitsville...

Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor, Bollywood's latest celebrity couple, are said to be headed for Splitsville (Don't you just love cliches? They're so familiar and usable). The couple are said to be bickering constantly with some reports even stating that Ranbir has already called quits on the relationship.

The main reason for the split seems to be the fact that both parties are over-protective twits. Ranbir is reportedly jealous of Deepika's friendships within the Indian cricket team, this jealousy seems to have been compounded after the recent release of pictures taken for a mens mag in which a scantily clad Deepika is seen trying to force herself on Upen Patel (In his dreams!), meanwhile Deepika is jealous of how close Ranbir is with his childhood friend Sonam Kapoor.

... It must suck dating someone in the film industry. Sure they'll be hot... But at the end of the day they make out with people who are better looking, richer and more famous than you (me), for a LIVING.

I don't think I could handle that.

Imagine...

Me: Hi Honey.
Priyanka Chopra: Hi.
Me: So what did you do today?
Priyanka: Oh, y'know... the usual things. Jumped off a building. Filmed a sex scene. Slept with the director. You?
Me: Umm... I wrote on my blog... and played games online?
Priyanka: HaHa! You're such a loser!
Me: F*** you! Take that!

(After which I proceed to stab her in the eye repeatedly with my fork.)

... Yeah. Not pretty.

Hence I can never date an actress.
 

Samurai_sellout
Soggy Cornflakes - Celebrities

Ranbir Kapoor has been watching too many Bollywood movies...

Rishi Kapoor's, big-nosed son, Ranbir Kapoor, is currently dating Om Shanti Om star, Deepika Padukone. Deepika is supposed to be desperate to make herself part of the Kapoor clan and is said to tag along wherever the Kapoors are going as well as attending every family event.

Aah! a truly devoted bahu, you say? Not according to Rishi, who has apparently grown tired of being stalked by a sexy shadow with kickass legs.

Despite the parents exasperation, Ranbir refuses to tell Deepika to back off and has become determined to change his family's mind, because apparently eh believes in the "power of love" and feels his parents will soon get used to his grilfriends simpering (*cough* fake *cough*) adoration.

Sucks to be Deepika. I hate it when you go out of your way to make people like you and they just say that you're being a brown-noser. It's so rude. 

I think the Kapoor's should be pleased.Their son's grilfriend is so far out of his league that well... there're no words. She's just massively out of his league. The Kapoor's should shut up and be happy that hopefully in the long run they can have some pretty-looking grand kids.

Let's face it. If Ranbir's surname wasn't Kapoor he wouldn't be dating a model... More likely than not he wouldn't be dating... anything... Rather he'd be spending Saturday nights with a tub of Vaseline and the internet.

In case you didn't catch the subtleties of the above joke, here it is in condensed form. If Ranbir Kapoor wasn't a "Kapoor-Kapoor"... He'd be me.

Samurai_sellout
Soggy Cornflakes -- Celebrities

Upen Patel Is So Transparent

Two actors, one successful and one still grasping at remnants of fame. It's understandable that one would take advantage of the other, if given the opportunity. Thus Deepika Padukone's new-found fame is being exploited by failing actor Upen Patel, of 36 China Town fame.

Deepika is horrified when old photos of her appeared, reminding her of the undignified poses she made in the arms of Upen three years ago. Even if she is climbing the Bollywood food chain fast, Deepika does not want to be reminded of the bygone days before Shah Rukh Khan and his 6-pack.

The emergence of the pictures have been suspicious and a friend of Deepika's says that she feels it may have even been Upen who released the sexy shots.

“Why are these pictures coming out now? After three years? Right now Deepika is hot property; it can’t be a coincidence that these pictures are suddenly popping up in everyone’s mailboxes.”

Upen is blissfully unaware of anything however, including the fact that his chin looks like someone's...ahem- derrière, insists that he has nothing to do with the leaked photos.

“The pictures are something from the past. I don’t even remember them, if you know what I mean. I did some photo shoot with her for Wendell many years ago. Who ever is behind spreading these pictures has an agenda to spoil my image in the public eye but I am not at fault here.”

Isn't Upen's public image that of the guy who will rip off his shirt at any given opportunity? I think those pictures fit into that image 100%.

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Soggy Cornflakes - Bollywood

Deepika Has Self-Esteem Issues

As soon as two people become a couple, it isn’t long before they’re having relationship problems, according to the press. That was true for Saif and Kareena, and it’s true for Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor. Last week it was being reported how in love they are, how their families approve and so on. This week’s story paints Deepika as a crazy, possessive girlfriend, a far cry from the blushing flower she was shown as before.

Apparently, Deepika is keeping a close watch on Ranbir, checking his cell phone messages and keeping tabs on his friends. Guess who’s persona non grata for her now? Ranbir’s first co-star and maybe ex-flame Sonam Kapoor.

Ranbir is a friendly guy and would have liked to stay in touch with old friends and especially old co-stars (even if Saawariya wasn’t a hit, that wasn't Sonam’s fault), but Deepika has said no to his friendship with Sonam. He is not allowed to talk to her, text her or reply to any of her messages. Jeez, obsess much?

Now you would think, Deepika is a former model and a successful actress (so far), so why would she feel threatened by Sonam? Even though she looks down on her as another celebrity child (Ahem, and Ranbir just popped out from nowhere?), could her deep-seated resentment for the teenager stem from her low self-esteem and abandonment issues? Don’t you just love psychology? It makes everyone crazy.

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Soggy Cornflakes - Bollywood