MovieZen Bollywood Blog

Kareena is one of the idiots

I just had to put that in. You can't act in a movie called 3 Idiots and not expect to made fun of.

Aamir Khan's new movie, the aforementioned 3 Idiots has hit the floor already when shooting began  recently. The movie also stars Boman Irani, Kareena Kapoor, Sharman Joshi and Madhavan. By the way, who ever heard of a guy with a one word name? You're not Kajol!

And speaking of Kajol. The female lead role was hers but because of dating conflicts, she couldn't accept it and it went to Kareena.

The movie will be directed by Rajkumar Hirani of Munnabhai fame and is supposed to be based on the book '5 Point Someone', a story about 3 college guys (Joshi, Khan and Madhavan) who are sick and tired of the marking system at their college, which they think is unfair. Obviously one guy will have to mess around with the evil lecturer's daughter (Irani and Kapoor respectively) but I'm guessing the movie ends happily ever after?

Hirani began shooting by using a real plane to shoot a shot for Madhavan's character and while I really liked Munnabhai, Hirani has to lay off the 'we're already flying high' puns. Not funny, just annoying.

While I respect Aamir Khan's decisions to picking movie, the idea of him playing a 20-something college student is laughable. Now who's the idiot?

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Sylvester Stallone gives stupid advice

Recently on the sets of Kambakth Ishq (Damn Love), Kareena Kapoor got to meet Hollywood action-legend Sylvester Stallone. Since Saif Ali Khan dropped in to see his girlfriend, he also got to meet Rambo himself. But Rambo gave him some stupid advice.

Kareena says,

“Saif met Stallone on the sets of Kambakkht Ishq and got along like a house on fire. While Saif has my name on his forearm, Stallone has his wife Jennifer Flavin’s face tattooed on his arm. And the Hollywood actor told Saif to do the same with my photo on his arm. I told Saif, ‘No way’. It’s very painful and it’s enough he has my name on his forearm.”

Also, what a terrible reminder of Kareena...you'd see her staring at you all the time...don't do it Saif!

Obviously Hollywood doesn't know much about Bollywood since Sylvester apparently told Bebo that he heard that she was the best actress in Bollywood. Puh-leez, Kareena is not the best actress in Bollywood, the best actress is...well, I'm not sure who's the best but it's definitely not Kareena.

Kareena, being the suck-up that she is, decided that Sylvester should have a gander at her best performances. Unfortunately, she didn't send him the DVD's of Tashan and Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, but told the production unit to send him one's of Jab We Met and Omkara.

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Kareena turns down Hollywood...

Kareena Kapoor, the star of the legend that was Mein Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, has decided not to turn her back on Bollywood at this moment in time. The spawn of the longest running cinema family in Bollywood has reportedly turned down roles in three Hollywood movies thus far, to concentrate on her Bollywood career which has taken a sudden upturn following the success of Jab We Met (Almost a year ago) and her romance with Saif Ali Khan.

Kareena's spokesperson says,

"It is true that Kareena was offered a role in ‘Chamera’ which is to be directed by Daniel Silverman but she has not signed on the dotted lines." He further added, "Besides ‘Chamera’, Kareena was also offered two other Hollywood films which I cannot divulge much into."

So from that I suppose we can guess that Kareena got offered a part in a movie that no-one's ever heard of, directed by a director no-one's ever heard off, as well as two roles in bimbo-esque comedies in which the producers couldn't afford Paris Hilton.

Why is it that so many women in Bollywood are eager to break into Hollywood, yet most of the men are somewhat... meh?

Are women greedy for the larger Hollywood paycheck? Or is there a deeper conspiracy? Dun Dun Dun!!!

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Saif and Kareena fight at IIFA

It seems that all these two seem to do is fight with each other, when they're not declaring their love and commitment however.

Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor were seen fighting after the IIFA awards ceremony, after Kareena had performed during the show, exhibiting the songs from Jab We Met and Tashan. The Omkara stars who like flaunting their relationship to the world, have recently been seen bickering more and more often in public.

Kareena seemed happy before the show, going out with good friend Tusshar Kapoor on an auto-rickshaw ride and didn't seem to miss the company of Saif, who only appeared on the final day of IIFA. The supposed reason for the fight was that Saif did not like the clothes that she wore to the show.

Kareena walked the ramp in a demure desi 'lhenga' and wore a gold metallic dress for the ceremony, not particularly revealing, very Kareena-style, so what's going on?

Hmm, is Saif getting a bit over sensitive? He was recently fighting with sister Soha Ali Khan for her revealing Maxim cover shoot and now Bebo is under fire for her dress. Talk about possessive...and I thought I was bad when I stroke my chocolate lovingly and hiss at people who come too close.

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Kareena - the hot and shining star

Kareena Kapoor has emerged as the much sought after star of Bollywood. She has brought about a complete makeover in her appearance with the all-new diet and exercise regime. The success of her film "Jab We Met" and her absolutely new looks have helped turn over a new leaf in her career. The film opposite her ex-beau Shahid Kapoor has brought her to a new raised platform in her career (does she have the same to say about her personal life as well?). The pair have given a commendable performance in the film however, the sad part remains after "Jab We Met" the split soon came by with Kareena making her preferences very obvious.

The star has bagged several prestigious roles and is endorsing several big brands.The rumors doing the rounds are that she is the ultimate choice for actor Ajay Devgan's next directorial venture. Ajay Devgan is soon to make public his next venture and Kareena seems to be the obvious choice.

Kareena is also being considered for another prestigious project opposite none other than the King Khan - Shahrukh. The venture is none other than "My Name is Khan". Kareena definitely has everything going right for her at the moment . What say Saif and Shahid?

Vandana
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Salman Khan is desperate to prove he's gay...

Bollywood bad boy Salman Khan is set to follow in the footsteps of John Abraham and Kareena Kapoor by launching his very own clothing brand. The clothes will be designed by Salman himself as well as by his sister, designer Alvira Khan.

Salman's weird... (ahem)... paintings will be printed on the clothes and the line will also include fashion accessories (manly). To make sure that no one in the civilized world misses out on his new project, an internet site is set to be launched.

... How is Salman Khan still considered a "manly man" in Bollywood? It's ridiculous! He has a belly button ring people! And he designs clothes! With accessories!

Can you imagine what would've happened to Charlton Heston's (may he rest in peace) career had he decided to get a belly button ring and design clothes? How about Daniel Day Lewis?

Could we have expected to hear the immortal lines, "Take your stinking paws off me you damned dirty ape!"?

Of course not! What we could expect to hear was, "Sorry Charlton... you're a bit too feminine for this role... But you really should've auditioned for Mary Poppins four years ago... You'd've been perfect".

The Indian media needs to stop calling Salman a "bad boy"... or boy (I know I called him that at the start of this post but I won't anymore... from... now on!). I think something along the lines of "gender-confused" would be more fitting. Harsh? Perhaps. But once a guy gets a belly button ring he automatically turns down his right to any masculine objectification. FACT! 

... Did I mention that he designs clothes as well?

Note: How's he going to design shirts anyway. I don't think anyone has ever seen him wearing one. I bet he'll just pick up random items of clothing asking, "Is this a shirt?". I'm intuitive.

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April Release for the Kareena – Saif Starrer "Tashan"

Tashan is the much publicised film under the Yash Raj banner that is slated for release on the 25th of April. The film is in the news for many reasons. It stars the hot and happening pair Kareena-Saif. Tashan has a glittering star cast with actors like Akshay Kumar and Anil Kapoor playing important roles. Anil Kapoor for a change plays a negative role in the film. The film also has Saif Ali Khan's son Ibrahim making his first appearance. The father-son duo in real life continue to play the same roles in the film too.

Kareena makes her first appearance in her new avatar. The star has proved that losing weight is child's play if you have a will of steel. The bikini scene of the star has grabbed much public attention with rumours of her fainting on the sets after starving herself the whole day long.

The songs are rapidly gaining on the popularity charts. The film has been shot at scenic locations in Kerala, Mumbai, Ladakh and Rajasthan. Kareena with her drop dead thin looks and with the affair of the two (Saif and Kareena) making the rounds, the media has created enough hype leading to very high expectations. The film is the directorial debut of Vijay Krishnan Acharya of Dhoom fame.

With the countdown for D-day having begun, the movie buffs are all truly waiting in anticipation for the release of the multi-starrer "Tashan".

Vandana
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Does Kareena Kapoor Want to Have Unprotected Sex?

Mein Prem Ki Diwani Hoon star Kareena Kapoor (I know she's done lots of other movies. A lot of good movies. But I enjoy chuckling over her mistakes rather than applauding her success. I'm a bitter little man child.) who is dating Nehlle Pe Dehlla star Saif Ali Khan (ditto), attended a school event yesterday in India.

She proceeded to meet the children while looking at their "art work." After browsing, she agreed to an interview with the clamoring press (Because who doesn't bring along journalists when they're going to look at crappy paintings?).

When asked what she thought of the kids, Ms. Kapoor responded,

“Its great to be with children and it reminds me of our childhood. I like spending time with children.”

An innocent enough remark you might think? But No! Because it's Kareena Kapoor the newspapers around India are carrying the headline (And by headline I mean... back page, bottom left corner) that the younger, less talented Kapoor sister is desperate to be inseminated. Ridiculous.

You know what's really ridiculous though? How people are expected to look at children's pictures and actually praise them for randomly attacking an A4 sheet of paper with a red crayon. I mean... Why can't we just say to them, "you suck?"

It's my dream to go up to a kid and tell him, "You suck. Everything you do sucks, regardless of what that cow Ms. Houston tells you. She's a teacher. She just scraped through college. So what if you can spell 'crown'? So can the other 300 million people in this country. What's that? Johnny can't? Well you can tell Johnny that he's a bleeding retard that should probably think about going into a corner and slashing his wrists. With a chainsaw. Can you do that for me? No... Of course you can't. You're a kid. And you suck."

... I hate kids. Did I mention I'm a bitter man child?

Samurai_sellout
Soggy Cornflakes - Celebrities

Katrina Kaif Isn’t Competing with Kareena Kapoor...

You know... somewhere in that title there’s a good alliteration. I’m just too lazy to look for it right now, but... y’know... maybe when I’m 95, withered and old with no reason to live, I’ll have a go. Hopefully it will convince me to die. Or at least kill myself.

Katrina Kaif says that she’s not competing with Kareena Kapoor to become the highest paid actress in Bollywood, saying that Kareena is “far more senior” to her (Great English there. A damning indictment of the British education system).

Kaif goes on to say that she admires Kareena, describing her as a fantastic actress. Kaif’s denial comes after reports that she has been offered 4.5 Crores (that’s 45 million) to take up a role in Ken Ghosh’s Next. That’s a Crore more than Kareena’s highest pay check and around 5 million more than Aishwarya Rai will receive for Robot.

Please note that the above figures are all in Indian Rupees, which trades at around 45 Rupees to the Dollar. So India’s highest paid actress makes just about a Million Dollars per movie, which is still a Million Dollars too much.  I mean... Katrina Kaif has never displayed a modicum of acting talent in any role she’s played... I’m not even sure if “played” is the right word. I think “bastardised”, “mutilated” or “destroyed” might be more fitting. At least Aish and Kareena have shown chequered displays of talent over the course of their careers. And by chequered I mean, like... once or twice... between them... over 10 years.

Seriously, the producer should just offer Katrina a bit of cash for her image rights and replace her with a cardboard cut out. Than at least she won’t get in the way on the set. And you can use her as a coaster at lunchtime. And after shooting you can send her home with Baljit, the lonely cameraman from a rural farmhouse who came to Mumbai to achieve his dreams. The world will finally have some use for Katrina Kaif.

Why don’t producers think of these things?!

Samurai_sellout
Soggy Cornflakes - Celebrities

Saif’s Tattoo is So Fake

When the news came out that Saif Ali Khan had gotten a tattoo of Kareena Kapoor’s name on his arm, we all thought he was completely off his rocker. But Uncle Saif is a bit smarter than we give him credit for, when it was revealed that his “tattoo”…isn’t permanent.

Now things have started to make a whole lot more sense, since it wasn’t a smart move for an actor to have a huge tattoo on his arm, especially since it didn’t say Anjali, Nisha or any other stereotypical Bollywood name. No problem there though, because if Saif doesn’t re-dye his tattoo every 6 days, it eventually fades away.

Kareena can’t be impressed with that cheap show of affection, and stuff like this fuels rumours that the golden-plated couple aren’t as perfect as shown. After a heated debate in Greece about marriage (he wants it now, she wants it later) and a ruined Holi (he slept through the day, she stormed off back to Mumbai), things aren’t looking good for the Choota Nawab.

At least before Saif was the “manly” guy who suffered to propagate his love but now he’s lowered himself to the level of my cousin in nursery school who draws on himself…and eats chalk.

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